INTERVIEW! I met the mysterious LittleGuy!

Dis: Hey bro, you look like this guy i heard about. Is it you?
LG: i have no idea what you are talking about
Dis: Don't you race bicycles as the mascot for a popular local cycling team?
LG: i guess i do sure
Dis: sweet. i just wanted to interview you about life and happiness and why peeps call you littleguy. you're not really that little.
LG: who calls me that?
Dis: dude
LG what?
Dis: you can't be serious
LG: what?
Dis: What are you doing right now?
LG: working on this painting of these cats
Dis: Kewl
LG: its a zen thing
Dis: So kewl
LG: so what do want to ask me spencer? we are friends here
Dis: oh, yeah. I was just thinking about you and these cats and cyclocross
LG: the cats are an inspiration. i do it for them
Dis: That's sweet
LG: do you want a vegan biscuit? its rosemary olive ginger
Dis: oh no, thanks
LG: it's vegan
Dis: sure ok
LG: i baked them this morning
Dis: Holy Eff littleguy this is effing bursting with flavors
LG: don't call me littleguy
Dis: This is so effing good can i have another one?
LG: sure. i like your style
Dis: thanks little bro. means a lot coming from you
LG you mean a lot to me
Dis: thanks man. you gonna finish that Yoohoo?
LG: you bet your ass i am
Dis: so, how are you for reals?
LG: not good. i have some sunburn. and the cats hate me
Dis: thats not true, bb. you have so much to live for
LG: really?
Dis: really. i believe.
LG: i don't use the internet a lot i heard people are just mad there alot
Dis: thats true. lots of crazies. scary stuff sometimes
LG: doesn't super rookie have a blog?
Dis: no
LG: are you recording this?
Dis: no, never
LG: ok. i hate the internet better to stay away.
Dis: Hows winter training?
LG: it is kewl. was training in AZ. saw some pros. rode mtn lemon
Dis: haha when life gives you lemons
LG: haha you know it
Dis: so true
LG: hey thanks for hanging out. its good to see you
Dis: you too. love the painting btw
LG: kewl. ttyl
Dis: xoxo

Contrast.

now.

then.

Rivals.

Sports rivalries are things of legend. They help teams build morale and camaraderie. They have defined cities. Boston and New Yorkers know what I'm talking about.

Well, Minnesota is no stranger to them, (the evil Packers anyone?), but it is time I shed some light on a long-standing rivalry you may not be aware of, even though it's been right under your nose the whole time.

Yes, in the MN Cycling scene. Sort of.

You may be shocked to learn that my team, LittleGuyRacing, has had a rival in the cycling world for a few years now. I know, crazy!
The tension is always high, as we only meet on the battlefield, er- bike race, a scant few times each year.
It's your classic David and Goliath story. Your typical Cutters v. Rich Kids. Outsiders v. Soc's.
Your basic "we're the awesome underdog" and you are the "totally lame big budget lame-o spanks".

Yep. That.

It all started with our little teams humble beginnings, we created a small, tightknit group of awesome people and made super kick ass kits. It was a totally new and revolutionary idea.

THEN- Team Pegasus in Milwaukee TOTALLY DID THE SAME THING.

Only lamer.

So, we brought our A-Game and threw the area's most awesome race, made a bitchin' flyer, and pushed the self-promo hard as Minnesota's Only Professional-Looking Cycling Team.

THEN- Team Pegasus hosted an awesome race, made bitchin' flyers, and self-promo'd the shit out of themselves.

THE GAUL!

Our kits were an awesome grey/red, so we changed it up to black.
Their kits were weaksauce grey/pink and they changed them up to black too!

They beat us in races sometimes.
We beat them in races sometimes.

They made a flag.
And the battle really started.

But at the 1st ever Jon Page Cup where we first saw the Pega-flag, there were no spectators to see it.
Seeing an oppurtunity, we made a flag of our own and we brought it to Jingle Cross a few weeks later.
Amazingly, they didn't bring theirs.
We were pretty much heroes to the people of Iowa.

In your fucking face Pegasus.

Next fall at the now USGP in Madison, we brought our flag... but we were on their home turf, and they were clearly embarrassed from Jingle CX.
Yes, they had stepped up their game. They had their flag on a 20 foot pole.
Totally made our flag look puny and weak on it's 5 foot pole.

But we got our flag signed by Erwin Vervecken. So I'm calling it a win.

Since then, we made a bad ass podium for our races, and we have A LIGHT UP LGR SIGN for the night laps at the 24 hour races.

Srsly.
IT. LIGHTS. UP.

Intel says they've made hoodies and custom wheel grapics. Meh.

We have also made hella babies in the last year. Don't see Pegasus doing that!
In your fucking face Team Pegasus. Again.

I am redesigning the new LGR kits right now... or, I was before I start writing this. Anyway, they are going to totally rock Team Pegasus' faces off.

Yeah, I said it.

Evidence/History:


Our super cool black kit.

Their total rip off kit. Basically just changed the red to pink. Hosers.



our awesome holiday party flier.

their totes lame holiday lamefest flier.



their flag.

OUR FLAG!

ugh. showoff.

Did i mention they made a calendar? Yeah, a sexy calendar.
Well... we.. uh.

We might have bought it.

Interview! I met SmithersMPLS!

me and smithers enjoy burritos. some other lame bike racers try to get in on the action.

Dis: Hey Chris. Do u mind taking a picture with me?
Smithers: Chris is my father's name. My friends call me Smithers. Call me Smithers.
Dis: Smithers! Smithereeno! U mind taking a picture with me Smithers?
Smithers: No problem. We love our fans. Is that a Canon or a Nikon?
Dis: It is actually a point and shoot DSLR 40.4 megapixels. It is GREAT for on-the-go picture taking.
Smithers: I love that. I could have really used one when I used 2 be a bike racer.
Dis: Yeah… I was wondering. What ever happened with that?
Smithers: WEll. It was just time 2 call it quits.
Dis: Bummer dude! It’s like breaking up the band.
Smithers: Yeah. It hurts to say goodbye. It really does.
Dis: Hey can I get your cell number?
Smithers: what for?
Dis: Well I was thinking I could do a phone interview with you for my new blog site
Smithers: Cool what's it called?
Dis: BikezRAwesomeBlog
Smithers: Oh yeah! I love that site. That's YOU?
Dis: Yeah. Just me. Love it. In it for the right reasons. To showcase premium local bike racers who are improving our scene. Our site loves your team, and gave your state cx championship 4.9 out of 5 thumbs up/stars.
Smithers: We really appreciate it. Your site is influencial and we saw a noticable attendance bump when u blggd abt it.
Dis: Yeah!
Smithers: Yeah!
Dis: Wanna go grab a bite?
Smithers: U know what? I'm super hungry. But really unfamiliar with the area
Dis: Let's go ahead and hit up this GREAT new burrito place around the corner. U like Mexican?
Smithers: Like it? My middle name is basically 'Flauta'!
Dis: Yeah! We'll get some flautas and guac as appetizers.




INSIDE OF LOCAL BURRITO RESTAURANT




Smithers: Holy EFF! This is better than Chipotle.
Dis: I'm not racist, but if ur gonna eat Mexican food, Mexicans better be making it.
Smithers: YEah I feel the same way about fusion food.
Dis: So how ru for real?
Smithers: Kinda sad
Dis: Why bb?
Smithers: I am not sure
Dis: BB… Ur U. Never be sad. U were put on this earth for a reason… Not every1 can say that.
Smithers: My ex-team hates me.
Dis: Why?
Smithers: Because I ended their income streams
Dis: Chris. It's gonna be okay. If they are ur TRUE FRIENDS, they would understand.
Smithers: Somebody left flaming poo on my doorstep.
Dis: U mind passing the peach salsa?
Smithers: Holy EFF this is the perfect mix of sweet and spicy, similar to the popular AZN sauce 'sweet and sour' sauce.
Dis: Yeah! I dip eggrolls in that on the reg.
Smithers: Hell yeah. Eff spring rolls.
Dis: LOLCAT
Smithers: So tell me about u…
Dis: 32/m/mpls ~~single and ready 2 mingle~~~
Smithers: Nice
Dis: Kewl
Smithers: U wanna get some sopapillas?
Dis: The flan is really good
Smithers: Tres leches milkshakes? Holy Effing EFF
Dis: Yeah let's get a sampler dessert, which is an appropriate sized portion so we can have all 3.
Smithers: OMG perfect
Dis: So can I get ur gmail address?
Smithers: Why.
Dis: Because Chri---SMITHERS.
Smithers: Cuz why
Dis: Bc ur my friend
Smithers: You bet your ass you are.




Please use the comments forum 2 share ur personal stories abt meeting local bike racing celebs.




all content and ideas 100% blatantly plagerized from hipsterrunoff.com. fuck it, you laughed.