god hates track racing.

was going to blog about track racing. was prepared for the backlash from all the cyclocross/roadies/allthewayray types.
lucky for me, god/allah/bob hates track racing and/or wanted to spare me from having to discuss some of the spanks that race up there.

instead i went riding/racing/non-tracking on the unmentionable ride™.
it was [CENSORED]. if you were not there, well then you missed out on all the [CENSORED] and [CENSORED] we had/did/felt.
it was way more [CENSORED] than the track and all the [CENSORED] [CENSORED] up there!
of course, several alledged 'trackies' showed up on the unmentionable ride™, there was [CENSORED] and [CENSORED]. oh, and of course [CENSORED]. craazy!

i guess i don't blame god for hating the velodrome. s/he is probably still pissed that it is not indoors. i know timmer is.

albert timmer for skilz-shimano, of course.
yes, that slik-shimano.



was going to post this photo a few days ago, now it's kinda 'been around' the blog circut. hope you don't think less of me.

are you sad the tdf is dead?
do you wish there were 'other grand tours' we could enjoy?
are you as mad as god is about the velodrome situation?
what did you do thursday?

le (de)tour de style.

the freaking tour is over!
i missed it.

i have been doing some craazy googling, and i can't figure out what happened.
maybe i should switch to yahoos? or bing?
maybe i should just buy an iphone and just 'get over bicycles' all together.
there must be an app for that.

so, i have been checking d-listed, perezhilton, and usweakly everyday but there is almost no mention of the 'le tour' at all.
...

SPOILER ALERT:

i did manage to find out who was on the podium though, except i don't know what order they are supposed to be in...

the podium was/is: albert contador, lance spears, and andy shreck.

i figure it shouldn't be too hard to determine the correct podium order. i mean, the race is french, so clearly the results will be based on who was the most fashionable.

let us examine the facts:
...

lance spearstrong, aka 'sparklefingaz':




with a clear affection for swooping necklines and 'questionable sports coats', i think it is safe to say that lancey finished 3rd.
while he is sponsored by nike, he is rarely sporting 'fresh-out-the-box' dunks, and would be better off wearing nothing at all rather than anything else in nikes 'fashion/livestrong' line...

albert contador, aka 'le petite diesel engine':



albert looks pretty put together for a spanish dude. aka 'doesn't look drunk'.

although word on the street is that he will not be bff's with lance/johan/twitter anymore, he IS still friends with levi leipenhiemer. here is a photo of them hanging out after the tour. total bffs.

and with friends like levi, it should be obvious that albert will never stand on the top step at a grand tour... but at least he doesn't have to shop at radioshack.

andy shreck, aka 'der pimp':

there are not many photos of the elusive shreck brother, but he knows where to be and who to be with if he does find himself in front of the camera.
here he is post le tour 'just chillin' with my fav Gossip Girl stars serena and dan! omg.



so totes jeals of andy schrecks.
plus, unlike lance, andy does have his own dunks.

now that's top step material.
...

so based on the facts available, here is your final podium:

1st: andy
2nd: albert
3rd: lance

also, i believe 4th place went to this guy. maybe.

what did you think of this years tours of france?
were you sad that cav didn't win stage 7?
do you hate my blogs?
do you want your own dunks?
gossip girl season 2 available on dvd 8/18/09, just fyi.

whoops.

didn't watch the stage today.
what happened?

is there a website/link/twitter where i can get race information?



thx much.

can lance still win a 7th tour?

the last two days stages of the tdf promised some action, and of course, i was there to witness it first hand via french tv replay.
i was busy doing a little shopping.

anyway first gc shake up was the missed madison exchange btw lance spears, and some italian. d'oh! this allowed the schleckx to hold hands all the way to the top.



maybe track/madison racing is not lancey's forte? should he stick to cyclocross?
i think so. team radio shack would totally get mad blog hits if he raced 'cx'.
i think that 'cross' will be the next hot thing in cycling.

other big news on the day was pellis0tay's outfit was finally complete, and was complimented via matchy bicycle. well done. believe his ppl had seen thedispencer.blogspot.



not sure if the fact that the schlecks rode a tandem bicycle was uci legal, but i do know that it 'just looked kinda creepy'.



there was another race today, but i didn't watch it.
seemed a little unimportant.
not really into 'dudes in funny hats'.

but, perusing the photos on cyclingnews, best look of the day goes to liquigas' weird little truck.
<3 weird little trucks, y'all.
hope to own an iveco someday.



do you think lance will win on ventoux via cyclocross skillz?
what will happen when team radio shack tries to use their radios for the very first time in 2010?
will they be subject to the same fate as garmin's 'remote-controlled/photoshopped helicopter'?
how many more ugly bikes will lance unveil before the race ends?

beef?

settled.

garmin. raw like cocaine straight from columbia.

is mn bike racing authentic?

concerned that bicycles being raced in minnesota may not be authentic/relevant outside of mn/mpls/twitter.com.
ToGC was in St.Cloud this last weekend. I didn't go.
Heard it was not going to be 'the place to be' and that the cool kids were going to 'just chill' in the city.
would have possibly went for the bowling. was not aware that the was anything authentic to do in sterns county.

what can the ToGC do to be 'more authentic'?
move to wisconsin?
protour teams are racing in wiscompton right now.
while mn had 5 guys in the masters/oldschool/bitter field sunday.

would you buy tickets for the ToGC if lancearmstrongs/gregslemond/greenday were racing?
if there was a event t-shirt/clownsuit/handbag for purchase [via the internet] would you buy one to feel like you were 'part of the movement' in sterns county?


[man in backgrd points/laughs at old man inflitrating the #tdf.
where is the badger when you need him?]

feel like opus is 'very relevant' while races sterns county get treated like 'total shit'.
feel conflicted about the scene y'all.
someone tell me what to buy. i need to be authentic.

think i will go to the tuff ride to purchase some street cred before the next meatyard criterium.

is cyclocross going to catch on and be the 'next big thing', or will it fade away into obscurity like cadel evans?
will bicycles ever be accepted as real/tangible/authentic?
what protour kits do you buy to let drivers know you are a relevant cyclist?

does tdf = blog relevence?

starting to feel like blogspot might be 'the next big thing' now that twitters.com has failed to grasp the attention of the internet/public/@lancearmstrong.

blogspot will soon shove tweeter.com off the podium like the badger would a union man or random pale guy.



the badger knows that no french team could possibly be on the tour podium, let alone be in the 'mellow johnny'.

feel like the tour is also inspiring me to 'blog more'. feel like there are many injustices that need to be righted, and that i can help. just need to keep cycle-blogging (clogging?) about important issues. feel like one day the world/uci/levi may start to 'get it' and learn a little something about cycling as a hobby more than a sport.

polka dots = injustice.
injustice to polka dots = genocide?



pellis-o-tay may be italian but he is clearly not as gay as most italians. fashion-wise.
wtf. omfg. idk. puk.e.dots.

in local news, i raced the track this thursday, and i hate to say it y'all, but cx season is here.
feel like blogging about cyclocross = mad hits.
feel like blogging about track racing = blog suicide.

was reading super-rookiesdotcom the other day too.
feel like being super rookie = career suicide. (via soccer/arcitecture/timhayes)

do you think the thedispencer.blogspot.com will bring tdf back into revelence?
do you hope the french get to win a stage of the tdf this year?
are you glad super rookie is semi-quiet these days?

pictoimages are plagerized from cylingnews. like usual.

oh crap, the tdf is on!

hey, why did no one mention that the tour is on?

wtf? srsly.

anyway, i guess you probably know more what's going on over that since you've been watching it for like weeks now and i am trying to catsup. (clever pun, eh?)

so, instead of some tdf review/prediction/made-up b.s. i have decided to 'run what i brung', cuz 'rubbing is racing'.

hot/not.

calling it in = hot.

as much as i dislike the cav, i gotta like that fact that he spends his day in the peloton coming up with new and exciting victory salutes. but.... hopefully he was calling in an order for a green columbia/htc kit b/c a leaders jersey w/o matching shorts/gloves/helmet = not a good look.

srsly.



"hello, bob stapleton? yeah, it's cav. hey man, um, do y'all think you could hook me up with some green tinted bibs and shit? i mean, even euskatel can deck their guy in full polka dots, and they are a joke... oh, and bob, how hard would it be to get my national flag on my shoes? look into it ok? thx."



hell, even ag2r was prepared!
who even thought they had a shot in hell at any jersey!?
but nocentini proves the italians a born with the genes to know how to work a runway.

the man busts out the full yellow kit/gloves/helmet/socks/wife/kids... that's preparedness.



live it up, bro.
you're on a french team. your days are numbered.

custom airbrushing on anyone/thing that is not mario cipolini = not hot.



thats like spitting in the face of all things cipo, and blasphemy will get you nowhere.



i was glad to see heinrich haussler doing it for the revolution on stage 12.



he took an enormous risk throwing the fist, could've lost everything.



maybe the uci did not take heinrich seriously as he is 'just some white guy on a bike' to them.
we know the truth.



all photos stolen from cyclingnews.com/bettini. whatever.
oh, except the 1968 opympics. i googled that shit.

i heart coffee and bikes. together.

[all the way ray, and hurl at crc. circa may 2009].

i am currently sitting at the CRC cafe.

for those that haven't had the pleasure, it's kind of a coffeeshop, and kind of a bike shop, and kind of always full of nice people. hell, i even saw the cullen's here once!
and bob williams. no shit, bob williams!

so, i sit here kind of a lot. it's close to my house, sure, but i do feel like i should take every opportunity to support CRC that i can.
i mean, where else does this exist in the world?
my two favorite things in the world collide; coffee and bikes.

excellent.

plus, it's a pretty awesome place, and i would like to continue to hangout here into the future, so that makes it easy to support. and that's what i'm all about..
hurl can make a mean soy latte to boot! (yes, soy. it's delicious).

LGR has been starting our weekend training ride from crc for the last year now, and it is pretty great to be able to grab an espresso, and a tube before heading out, let me tell you.

so, i hear rumors that might make your head spin a bit with excitement:
there may be another coffeeshop/bikeshop in minneapolis!

holy crap, i know.

longfellow/hiawatha residents can rejoice, angrycatfish bikes & coffee is coming to south minneapolis soon!
4208 28th Ave South, to be exact.

you can trust that as soon as i opens it's doors, i'll be there.
supporting.

internet fame.

so, the internet is all a-buzz about cycling lately and all the attention is on one man...

no, not lance.



srsly. check me out;

• got to star in the new urban velo magazine, masi ad. (hot placement on the backcover, in full color!)
• i also scored what i am calling the 'lead role' in the sweet masi promo video. (hot velodrome racing action!)
  
• and, riotminneapolis.com got a nice write-up on my favorite fixedgear trend-watching site, hipsternascar.com!

i'm everywhere.
get used to it.


notes:
1) photo by pete demos. he's good at his job, but i like to think as a professional model i made his job a lot easier...
2) i am not an advocate of riser bars on fixed gear bikes.
3) i do support riser bars over mustache bars. those are just retarded.