Wednesday, January 31, 2007

you do the math.

hey kids.

how about a story?

this is one of my favorites.

it's called, "the time i beat super rookie twice on the same climb".

it all started last fall, on a pretty regular training ride. we were doing the little guy secret training loop. it consists of all the same roads everyone in the metro aera rides, but in a slightly different sequence.

the ride was nearing it's end and we had still to climb the dreaded ohio st.

mr. super rookie, in classic form, starts trash-talking before the climb is even in sight.

when we do finally approach the hill, he gets noticeably "twitchy", in that super rookie way, and moves right to the front.

at the first hint of incline he's off!
i'll tell you, he caught us off guard like a couple drunken sailors with shore leave!

so at the half-way point of the climb, he's still "charging" forward/upward, with the littleguy and i comfortably on his wheel. its about then that i ask tim if we are going to continue along ohio st or turn at the top on to cherokee.
as he blurts out, "keep going", i make my move.

when i look back i could barely even see super rookie anymore.
i had continued along ohio past cherokee, as decided. when i look back though, things had changed.

super rookie took the corner onto ohio, and inexplicably everyone followed him.
so, i turned it around, cruised back down the block to turn up cherokee, which continues to climb for about two blocks.

in that two blocks i caught, and dropped super rookie again.

it was a nice day.

the end.

i don't really like to brag, (not that it's really bragging when we're talking about beating sr... i mean who hasn't?), but sr was trash talking earlier tonight, so i thought i'd share this little story with you.

ah, memories.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

uscx = not too shabby.

we tried to get jonathan page to commit to an appearance at stuporbowl 10, but i guess he had some other commitment.


i don't think he realized how epic it's gonna be.
i hear skippy is riding...

anyone else think bart wellens is kind of a jerk?

"even though i had the best legs of the season i couldn't do much more than what i did. the jersey went to the wrong person, he shouldn't have won it even though he's a teammate. he deserves to be on the podium but the other guys don't," wellens said.

whatever. you didn't win, tough luck hombre.

also, do these guys know about each other?

skippy is gonna be so pissed that i'm still taking about cross in feb...

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

uber dude.

that is what my knuckle tattoo will say.

here is a truely epic photo.


Saturday, January 20, 2007

you look depressed.

hola amigos, i know it's been awhile since i rapped at ya.

but in my defence, i got a lot going on.

first, i quit my total b.s. job at wcp at the end of december.

now they are refusing to pay me for the hours i worked in that last pay period. boo!

anyone know a good lawyer? or, a bad one that works cheap?
(real cheap).

that place is full of douche bags.

then, i picked up about a million shifts this week at my super awesome job at moose and sadies, a proud lgr sponsor, i might add.

then, i started my bmx racing career! i went up to rehbein's, bought myself an aba liscense, and hit the track. it was pretty freeking sweet, if you asked me.

you should think about it, you'd like it... you might even call it epic.

i have had a lot of "team buisness" on my plate lately, as well as a bunch of family drama.
but you don't need to know about all that. you don't really care that much anyway. i know you come here for the snark.

and i don't blame you.
it's better than reading a junior highschool girls diary.

i'll try to be better about posting stuff, and in the internim, get rad.

i am pretty sure that course is not uci legal.

Monday, January 15, 2007


i used to live on chicago avenue, at lake st.

before there was a midtown.

before anyone gave fuck.

we had a weight bench on our roof, above the porch.
we would lift out there just to make sure people would see, to prove weren't the huge marks of the neighborhood.

we also used to sit on that roof at night and chill out. it was oddly peaceful.

it wasn't quiet.

sunny's bar was loud, the number 5 bus went by every 5 minutes, sirens, cops...

but it was nice to just sit up there, watching the citys heartbeat from afar.
hear pieces of conversation as people passed below.

once i watched someone get shot in front of the vend-a-wash from that roof.

they were fine. it was a flesh wound.

that one wasn't so bad... but,

we did have someone die in our porch.
we didn't know him.

that didn't stop him from getting shot in our yard though. i saw it from my bedroom window.

an argument. some shoving. a gun. a shot.

the group of people that were there a took off. scattered.

i saw him take a few steps and fall.

he kind of rolled down our lawn onto the sidewalk. tried to get back on his feet...
that's when someone came running back. kick the guy in the head 4 or 5 times, and take off again.

no shit. he pissed somebody off.

a few seconds later, someone else came back and helped the dude up, and over to our front door.


at this point i headed down stairs, total fucking chaos.
nobody had any fucking clue what to do.

the guy who was helping him did not want to stick around for the cops to show up.
we certianly didn't want the cops in our house.
but you can't really turn them away.
this guy is bleeding everywhere.

we laid the dude on a couch on our porch, and did what we could until the paramedics showed up.


our whole front yard was a crime scene. yellow tape everywhere.

investigators quizzing us all for days. we didn't have much to say.
you can''t really.

eventually the newspaper told me he didn't make it.
it didn't mention his name.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

dr. claw. (evil genius).

there have been a few posts lately about crime, in and around minneapolis.

don't look at me.
i certainly don't know anything about it.

what i do know is the some of the stats are sensationalist, and over-blown.

as can be proved by the fact that super-rookie's "stolen" fender is in fact here in the lgr warehouse space, where he was attempting to fix his crappy "bike" the other day.

nice try at solving the mystery though, inspector gadget.

while fender theft is down, auto theft does seem to be up.
i blame the parents.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

inside the beast.

fgf has a very interesting interview up now.

a rare look
into the mind of a uscf official.

maybe the donimator should take a look.

part of the interview tries to explain the need for 8 zillion uscf officials that seem to be at every event.

but it is mostly refering to world class events... which doesn't really help local promoters who want to know why they have to pony up for so many officials.

now, world class events aside, i am of the opinion (at this time), that more officials probably confuses things more than helps an event run smoothly.

i've heard that more officials = "more eyes".

but in reality, more officials seems to = lap counter, wheelpit official, assistant officials, etc.
who are not really watching the race because of their other responsibilities. (i.e. changing the lap cards).

i understand the need for officials. don't get me wrong.

but could some of these more "menial" tasks be given to volunteers by the promoter, in an effort to cut costs and allot more funds to the event itself?

at least on the local level?

it seems like a couple of helping hands and another video camera could go a long way.

i don't want to trash our local officials because they are doing us a service, i think it is usa cycling that seems to be making it harder and harder for local events to happen...

i hope they are not suprised when things like
abr, and obra. i think it might be a good idea for some people (current officals or not) to look into being abr officials...

Sunday, January 07, 2007


i was doing some house cleaning today and came across some old super rookie footage.

we shot these during his first few months of work as a courier.

ah, memories.


Tuesday, January 02, 2007

lgr, already claiming the top podium steps...

in case you didn't notice, i have had the honor of receiving the highest award that local cycling has to offer:
the skibbysez
rider of the year award.

if you are surprised, please take a moment to reevaluate your life, and to get with the program.

photo courtesy kjk.

equally as deserving, (not really of course, but you kind of have to say that sort of thing when accepting awards... you'd know that if you won awards), was karla! who was the skibbysez choice for female cyclist of the year.

a grumpy's/lgr podium sweep.
yeah, get used to that...

screw the mcf roy, i don't really want a ticket to the banquet... skibbysez roy means so much more!

next seasons goal is the timmer roy! where's my sperm helmet?