...and the bartender says, "what'll ya have"?
the first asshole says, "i am always 5 minutes behind schedule. always. you could set your fucking watch by it. it doesn't matter how early i leave the house...
...oh, uh, how about a whiskey and ginger ale".
the second asshole gives the first a quizzical look, and says to the bartender, "i can't decide who my favorite musician is between prince, tupac, and johnny cash. it's fucking with me. gimme a thugs passion. no wait maybe jack straight... wait, do you have something purple?".
asshole number 3 chimes in with, "you know, i just realized i grew up in minnesota and have never been skiing, played in a competitive hockey league, curled, or snowboarded. winter is total bullshit. give me a fucking sex on the beach".
the fourth asshole looks at the bartender, and mutters under his breath, "god, i hate assholes. you can't get away from 'em can ya? oh well. if you can't beat 'em join 'em, eh? lemme have a vodka cranberry... and use the stoli, ok there pal".
the last asshole says to the bartender, "for your information, i don't smoke, i've never used drugs, and certainly i do not drink. so, give me a shirley temple."
the bartender raises an eyebrow and says, "wow, do you all realize that if you were one person you'd be one colossal asshole? get the fuck out of my bar".
after they leave the bartender puts his hand on his forhead, lets out a long sigh, and says,
"ask a stupid question..."
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3 comments:
I love you.
"I can attest to him being 5min late. That is why I fired his ass."
The Klemp
Owner
Blazing Saddles
if your blog was always this funny and not about bikes i'ld read it...like twice a day!
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