tough talk.

perusing cyclingnews.com today, shows alot of tough talk.

let's explore.

"i'm not blind. you know who hides themselves, who disappears for three months and all of a sudden can fly. i have always been told that you can't question the performances of others. but now i am starting to do that. even if it makes me crazy." -tom boonen.

and further;

""vino is a dirty cheat who they ought to suspend for his lifetime." -tom boonen.

hard to argue with that logic.

"i am fed up with this. they make our life difficult and complicated. through their obvious stupidity, they risk the existence of the teams, including soigneurs, mechanics, bus drivers and so on." - jens voigt, argues not only for himself, but for the working class. (typical european).


"there are a lot of riders in his team whose contracts will expire at the end of the season, thanks to him they may also be living on the street. if a rider like him was in my team, i wouldn't hesitate to punch him in the face." -jerome pineau (bouygues telecom)

he was refering to moreni of cofidis, but i'm sure the sentiment applies to all dopers.

i was happy to see some of the teams rotesting doping/dopers at the start of the stage yesterday, they were cofidis, ag2r, agritubel, bouygues telecom, crédit agricole, française des jeux, gerolsteiner, and t-mobile. cofidis is, of course ironic, but if you were doping and your team stayed at the line, would you have the balls to roll away? moreni didn't.

in his defence, the testosterone probably shrunk them.

of course, not everyone thought the protest was cool.

"[the stage was] a bit of a mess at the start, with some riders trying to protest. i thought we were here to race our bikes, not to make political statements." -cadel evans.

well, cadel, it seems we may also be here to sue the pants off people.

the predictor-lotto protour team is planning on filing a claim against alexandre vinokourov and his astana team for loss of publicity.

it is interesting that cadel would have that opinion.

tom boonen himself thinks cadel is the only clean gc contender.

"i have given up my belief in most of the rest," he said, "it is possible to ride the tour without doping. and to ride and win, too. and cadel evans proves in my eyes that you could win it without doping."

maybe cadel knows something we don't.

and the chicken?

well, "we are not scared to talk about rasmussen, only your grandmother would believe that you missed four doping controls by accident." sebastian hinault (crédit agricole).

they aren't scared of him.

"i don't want to think about it. this is a disaster, man. i hadn't held it for possible." - michael boogerd.

no possible? to get caught? cuz it seems to me that everyone knew all about rasmussen.

yep, lots of good gossip today.

hey floyd.

could you please tell all these a-holes that testosterone doesn't do anything, and there is no point to use it in competition.

thanks buddy.

time for a recap.

thursday was soooo long ago, i can barely remember it... but here it goes.

track racing is awesome, and all the people that race the track are also awesome.
like me. i am awesome. (and i have the ribbon to prove it).



(and people say there is no positivity in my writing).

so, last thursday all the awesome people in minnesota showed up for the awesome party at the velodrome. there was gonna be a keirin, and some state championships, and the usa cup was on at the surrounding futbol fields. (that's soccer for the wisconsinite readers out there). so that meant a awesome line-up for the awesome party, plus many many bonus spectators. awesome!

to top all that off karla was in town for the awesome racing, that was awesome. plus, she hung out with us too. double-awesome!

i heard from a little bird that the uber-team bitchwood[sp?] had chosen this night to be deemed unofficially "birchwood night" at the velodrome. i guess the plan was to rally the 180 members of the team to a mass showing in the stands and races, and show us trackies whats-what. awesome!

i don't know how many of "them" we're in the stands, but the were, (drum roll please...), 2 of them racing, and if big matt hadn't been sick there would have been 3!! awesome!
that would be the best turn out ever for bwood! super-awesome!

speaking of numbers, lgr brought out 10 racers to the track. awesome.
but we didn't know it was a contest, that's just the usual number.

anywho, i was too busy being awesome (see above) to remember to switch back from my warm-up gear to a race gear before my first race. so it went really awesome. really.

then i had a keirin. they are always awesome.
i pulled my favorite start spot, 6. (awesome).
and i tried to start all slow and weak, to get the last spot in line... but i was not slow and weak enough, because pete hanna was slower and weaker... so i slotted in 5th, with him on my wheel.
he is so awesome.

i am just smart enough to remember how hanna won this race last year, so i had wanted to be on his wheel. so now i had to make him come around me somehow.
i decided with half -a-lap before the motor came off, to let a awesome gap open up. nice and big.
it worked! awesome!
hanna came right over, i jumped on, and he made the same move as last year.
i came over him, but it was too late. 1st and 2nd were gone, and only the top two qualified for the final. awesome.

i was happy with 3rd in the heat, but it sucked i didn't qualify. oh well, i am not a sprinter guy, so i should be happy to do as well as i did. which was awesome. (in case you forgot).

now, hagerty did do awesome, legit. he smoked quite a few local punters in the heat, and smoked a national champ in the final. uber-awesome!
then i did the cat 3 points race because i didn't feel like madisoning. it was fun, i just sat in a watched everybody, and decided who sucked and who is awesome.
i think i could have won, but bob told me not to, so i didn't contest any sprints. i just ramped it up a bit when i hit the front. just to be awesome.
i thought about sprinting for a prime from birchwood night, but it was a bag of granola so i didn't bother. tuffy went like hell for it though. i guess he was hungry.
tuffy is awesome.

then the night was over.

some other awesome stuff has happened this weekend, like not doing st. cloud.
i am so glad.

instead i worked on some mad-phat-burners at the jackpine and the bombshelter.
yo.
word.



i was all anti-doping, and shit...
....and then i drank a bunch of coffee. awesome.

that's all folks!

p.s. holy crap, is this awesome or what?!?
(i stole it from masiguy, who stole it from dave moulton, who probably also stole it. awesome).

velo bella makes me barf.

seriously.

it might sound awesome, but barfing during a tt is not as awesome as it sounds.
...at least for the guy doing the barfing.

so the hamel tt hosted by super-sexy velo bella cycling team was yesterday.
the course was an a+ by (dis)pencer standards.

tt's are usually pretty boring.
mostly flat, out-and-back, no turns to speak of, and nothing technical.

all-in-all they are not very challenging, (other than the whole going fast part).

i for one love to see tt's with some drama, a la the us nationals tt last year.
boo ya.

hamel was the closest i've seen in mn.
it had more than one climb, it had descents (gasp!), it had corners, and even better the corners were tightened up via a cone-line, so you actually had to negotiate the turns.
something many local tt'ers never get to do.

i think it was the first time we we're really able to see who really knew what they were doing on one of these goofy-ass bikes.



i think the results showed us what's up.
timmer beat everyone else by a minute.
big matt won the cat 3's while sick, and coughing up a lung before, (and again after), the race.

super rookie even put his bike on the trainer to make it look like he knew what he was doing.
it was a psychological tactic, but we all saw right through it.



what sr failed to realize is that the trainer is not to train the bike.
you have to get on the bike while it's on the trainer.

like our cat 3 winner:



i got on the trainer too, (i usually just warm-up on the road, cuz trainers are totally geeky), and it made my ride so much less painful than usual!

i got up to speed quickly, and tried to pace my self at a reasonable level for the first few minutes, and was able to avoid the terrible burning and heavy-as-logs feelings my leg usually get in tt's.
sweet.

super rookie had told me that the finish was about 2 miles after a "descent with a turn right after it".

what he didn't mention was that there were 2 sections of the course that had descents with a turn after...

so after the first one, i ramp it up. give it a fantastic effort that brings me right to...
the actual "descent with a turn".

d'oh!

so i spent the last 2 miles suffering like a dog, trying to recover and put up a reasonable time.

at least i beat that son-of-a...

a nobel cause...

..but who hasn't got one these days?

i am bad ass.

here's the proof.

who else do you know that can score free lower level tickets to prince on the day of the show?

that's right. me!

you know who else is bad ass?

prince himself.

and of course, there's perennial bad ass:
robbie mcewen.


(from steephill.tv)

but, he still doesn't get to see prince.
in minneapolis.
for free.
opening the set with purple rain.

although, i'm pretty sure he has been relegated for rule 104 before...
maybe we are equally bad ass.

anyone see the stage today?
man, cancellara got caught in a crash near the end of the stage. (video here, final 1k then the crash).
but, thank god it happened at 2.4k otherwise he would not be within the "safe zone"... i.e . if it happened at say 10k from the finish there is no way they would give him the same time as the finishers.

fuck if he is the maillot jaune.
fuck if he is the world champion.

well, that's what the french would say anyway.


p.s. the iceman is also a badass for hooking me up with the tickets! thanks iceman!

i guess i'm pretty bad ass.

Rule 104(a): "No rider or licensee may be disrespectful toward organizers, officials, riders or spectators [warning for minor offense; possible relegation of rider; and/or up to a $50 fine]."

or maybe,

Rule 104(c) "(c) No licensee may assault (an unlawful attempt, coupled with the present ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another) or do battery (any willful and unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another) to anyone connected with any event (including but not limited to riders, officials, spectators, public officials, etc...) held under a USA Cycling permit. [disqualified from the event, prohibited from participating in another event for 72 hours & suspended for up to one (1) year after due process]"

hmmm, here's how i remember the afternoon of the northfield crit going...

1. at the line, official states all the usual pre-race stuff, plus a bit about the pace car. "there is a pace car on the course, so if it is coming up behind you please be aware of it, and move over to the side of the road, for it to safely pass".

2. race starts. i'm dropped in .5 laps.

3. 3 laps later at the start finish, official from earlier points to the side of the road and says only, "pacecar". i see that indeed the pacecar is a block and a half behind me, so i move to the side and continue riding. as instructed at the startline.

4. car and following peloton pass me, i try to latch on the back... to no avail.

5. crossing the line the next time i coast slowly past the officials, hold my fully unzipped jersey down so they can clearly see my number, and say "i'm done".

6. check the results to see if i got 2nd or 3rd to last. it actually says DQ - rule 104

7. reading up on the rule, i think it must be an attempt at a joke, or an error.
considering i could not have been disrespectful to;
a rider, (i was never even in the field. plus super rookie wasn't there, who else am i gonna trash talk??).
an official, (as the only thing said to them was to report my exit).
or the organizer, (didn't see him, i'm sure he was busy. don't really know him anyway).

any ideas?
perhaps my track rep got me confused with one of the carneys?

oh well.
i guess it just preserves my bad-ass rep.

so, what's new?

well, i'm back.
i've been back for a bit now, but i really haven't had a lot of time to type shit out...
and i still don't really.

i do, however, have some observations about minneapolis since my return.
you wouldn't think much could really change in 2.5 weeks, but it kinda does.

one, it's hotter here than in southern spain.
total b.s.

also, the track needs a revamp of upgrade policy.
there are some glaring mistakes right now, and it came to a head last thursday.
i also really have a problem with the cat 3's being allowed to race with the 1/2's at the end of the night.
you know, right when they've just finished their endurance race and are blown.
how is that a good idea?

when i moved up from cat 3 i was all but winning at will, and totally in control (i felt) of the cat 3 races... but my first 1/2 races i was just hanging onto the back. ...and barely.
it was a big jump in ability level, and there is no way i could have raced after completing a cat3 60 lap race.
i think tuesday night structured training is the place for cat3's to gain more skill, not in the 1/2 race.
i don't think there is any argument that 2 tired cat 3's caused the crash in the 1/2 race that broke doug regesters collarbone. it probably could have been avoided.
and also in the 4/5 crash as well, as outlined by dan-o and kruse, here.

another thing is this, from the mcf board:

Personally I think that the Tour/UCI making the riders sign a document stating that they will give up a years salary if found to be doping is total bull.

this is one of the captains of the mn junior racing program.

They(Tour/UCI) has known for years the extent of the doping and have profited from it. You could argue that doping has made bike races much more exciting with the higher speeds and number of riders that can win on any given day.

you could argue that... if you support a culture of dope, and don't give a fuck about the athletes over your entertainment.

What's is the [rider] supposed to do? Go back to nothing or do what it takes to keep playing/working?

if by "what it takes", you mean training... then yes.
if by "what it takes" you mean dope, then no. absolutely not.

Yes, doping to win is wrong BUT When is the Tour/UCI going to give money back to the sponsors? When are the sponsors going to give money back to consumers(that purchased products because of cycling sponsorship)? When is any Professional league [NFL, MBL, etc.] going to refund season tickets holders? So why should the riders give back money if nobody else is?

this is missing the point. in my opinion.
the tour/uci isn't so much giving "money back to the sponsors", as the sponsors are going to stop giving money to cycling.
liberty mutual, and wurth pulling sponsorship is a huge blow.
they know that.
i think if any more major sponsors pull out, cycling will become a pretty marginalized (even in europe) sport.
maybe it's unfair that pro cyclists get tested 500% more than any other athletes, but that is the way it is.
what's actually b.s. is that they can't pass the tests...
i think we have a right to expect a clean race.
i for one think immediate lifetime bans is not out of line.

if the reason for doping is the "pressure to win" from management and sponsors, maybe we should apply greater pressure not to.

minneapolis is a funny, backwards place.

your thoughts?