(dis)entertainment weekly.

hi, and welcome to the show for the week of january 5th.
as usual we have the scoop on all the drama, and big happenings.

in this weeks episode we are going in depth into the brittany mental hospital saga.
we'll also be comparing a washed up josh hartnett's visit to the birchwood cafe last year sometime,
to matt dillon and his exciting visit to lgr sponsor, moose and sadie's cafe.

we will also be reviewing the rivies handed out earlier this week by on the rivet, and tearing frye a new one over some of the winners.

let begin with the rivies; and field reporter (dis), on the red carpet.

here are (dis)entertainment weeklys thoughts on the winners;

Best Criterium Course to Northfield.
while northfield has a great atmosphere and all, i have to disagree that it is the best crit course, that of course would go to the campus crit presented by lgr. frye shouldn't care to much with this change, as his finishing place was second in both races. A runner-up, (aka: "a frye"), would be the capitol crit course.

Best Criterium: Tour of Granite Country / St. Cloud Criterium
i did not attend this race in 2007, but if 2006 was any indicator i would have to agree with this choice. never have i seen so many persons and bicycles doing cartwheels down this street than i saw on this technical course. very exciting white-knuckle racing.

Best Road Race Course: State Road Race Course
again, i didn't attend this one, but tuffy won it in glorious style, and i only heard good things, so i'll give it the thumbs up.

Best Road Race: State Road Race
whatever. it was probably oxbow.

Best Time Trial Course: Hamel TT
Best Time Trial: Hamel TT
aside from slyly admitting to "time trialing", frye further hurts his fragile character by not choosing henderson or the state tt for best tt. states is always exciting, and henderson with the 2 person team option was rad. i would call hamel the best course, it was just stellar.
good job bellas!

Best Road Event: Tour of Granite Country
our on-the-scene beat reporters at the duluth "stage race", claim to have seen catherine zeta jones at the local duluth pizza luce, following a shopping spree with a unidentified male companion. rumors that it was tone were quickly proved to be false.

Best Road Promoter: Loon State Cyclists (Delaney & Skibby)
going with the safe choice of experience over the breakout success of brand new promoters at lgr, the rivies further prove that they are unable to move forward, and truly represent the stars of local cycling, instead protecting an "old guard" of power players, like prez skibby, robert dinero, brando, and delaney.

Best Cyclocross Course: Boom Island CX
eh. i heard more complaining about the "pyramid of pain" than anything else this year.
maybe it was too epic? the (dis)entertainment weekly nod goes to powderhorn, and their creative and revamped course.

Best Cyclocross Race: Grumpy's Velo CX
obviously. other promoters should be embarrassed.

Best Track Race: 360 Sprint at Radius 3
sure, if your into terrifying. ...and who isn't? good call.

Best Race Announcer: Jay Tegeder, State Criterium Championship
no. jay tegeder should leave the building.

Best Tan: Carlton Mitchell, Silver Cycling
is that model boy? someone on silver has the 'look'. could easily be modelling pearl izumi bibshorts for the world cycling productions' catalog.
...if he wanted to be paid in poorly edited videos, that is.

Most Obsessed with Cycling: Jimmer
if we are talking riding, sure. if it's just cycling in general, this may have to go to super rookie...

Worst Lapse in Judgement: Jimmer, aka Choo Choo
you don't hang out with tim hayes much, do you?
well, it's probably a good thing.

Ugliest Team Kit: Tie - Abercrombie & Fitch and Grumpy's LGR
jealously rears it's ugly head. as someone who claims that team kits had no affect on his choice of teams, frye is quick to take shots at the two best kits in the peloton.
it is sad to see his integrity go right out the window, when that god awful urthel kit was sitting right there the whole time.

Best Race Kit: Red Lantern at the Red Barn CX
hard to argue that.

Worst Weather for a Race: Charity TT (time trialing in a hurricane!)
again with the tt references. i think frye has a secret desire to get caught in a sperm helmet... like kids, needy for attention, that do bad shit just to get caught.
someone give frye a hug.

Best Race Schwag: Bike Club TT Challenge
By far. how they do it, i may never know.

Best Trophies: Silver Cycling / State CX Championship
i don't know whether to make a pot joke, or a bowl joke.
either way, hollywood had very appropriate trophies.

Best Novelty Event: Coldsprints
novelty? this shit is life and death, man.

Best Local Cycling Website: bikethrow.com
i guess. if you don't count this one maybe.

Best New Blog: What else - On the Rivet
best joke - see above.

Best Blog to Pull the Plug: smithersmpls.com
amen. no more water heater drama!

and the most coveted award...
My Favorite Local Blog: this one.

the check is in the mail.

that's all the time i have for today, if you really wanted a brittney update, go here.