Thursday, March 27, 2008

vote for me.

avoid making this an obama-nation.

and let's keep the clinton dynasty a memory of the arsenio hall appearances.

and, let's not worry about mccain. (maybe cheney will shoot him?)

here's my platform;

1. a national health care.
sure we'll take it in the pooper on this for a few years, but then everyone who is unhealthy will start to become more healthy and it won't be a burden. there are alot of nations doing this, pick a version.
canada's is nice, who would like a year and a half maternity leave?

2. a useful national rail system.
i am over this airline industry crap. no more bailouts. i think people only fly anymore because it's the only real option, not because they particularly want to.
i want to restructure all the amtrak lines so they only run to and from major cities, (not stopping at every nowhereville, usa), and make them all high-speed.
cutting the excess lines, and speeding up service and travel time will get ridership up. small town usa would have to get on a bus to the nearest big city, but the reduction of costs in maintaining those rail lines and stations would pay for the new high speed trains.

3. bigger states, smaller laws.
break the nation into 5 or 6 regions, (northwest, midwest, south, etc.), and have local government for each. i am convinced that washington cannot make good laws for a farmer in iowa, or that nyc and rural utah need the same federal laws. states are too small and numerous, making laws and rules too compilcated and nuanced from state to state.
so basically, 5 or so "countries" in the usa, and combine them much like the eu. same monetary system, etc.
this way farmers get to make the laws that govern farms, not lobbies in washington, and so on.

4. abolish the presidency.
the prez is just a figurehead anyway, and it gives "enemies" a focal point. a congress of elected officails from each mini-nation should be able to suffice. there is less potential for abuse by one person with the most power.

5. gun control a la norway.
sure, norway's murder rate jumped 50% recently.
...from 2 to 3.
they took away all handguns, and gave everyone rifles.
hard to conceal a rifle, and hard to rob people when you know they've all got rifles.

there's more, but i don't have the time to type it.

anyway, once everything is up and running, then the timeline will call for abolishing the government entirely, we won't need it.
everyone will be pretty happy, and it'll be smoooove sailing.
so go ahead, write me in, and let's see what happens. (best episode ever).

4 comments:

StevenCX said...

"Don't blame me, I voted for (dis)"

Tone Coughlin said...

I can't vote for you if you do away with the presidency!

I would like to keep my handguns, they are good for whale hunting...

Jay Tegeder said...

I'll vote for you... Which mini nation will you represent? Sounds like Canada's national health care isn't that good. I'd pick some Euro model... If you take away handguns, only handguns will have rifles... How about shotguns? Can we keep those? I don't care if you take away handguns. How about giving us something in return... Like rocket launchers or bazookas... Whatever you do, don't OBombus... I couldn't think of anything clever for Hill or Johnny Mac...

Anonymous said...

You had my vote, if I had a vote, up until #5.
Rifles are a nice idea. I would lump shotguns in with rifles but draw the line at automatics (AK47 etc).
The problem with rifles (and/or shotguns) is:
CASE #1.
Some bad guy is breaking down my front door and I have my Mr. 9MM, I pop a cap in is ass and the SOB falls down DEAD as fried chicken. The police come inspect the site, find the bad guy right where I pop em. They say "You did just fine!".
Case closed.

CASE #2:
Some bad guy is breaking down my front door and I have my 12 gauge shotgun I pop a cap in is ass and the SOB flys backwards about 12 feet. He is still DEAD as fried chicken. The police come inspect the site, find the bad guy out near the driveway and say "he hardly on your property. You're in BIG trouble. The take me in, the bad guys family sue me in civil court and.....well you see the picture.
Sooooooooooooo close.