coffee.

ha!

i stole it from bsnyc.
what kind of asshole would wear something like that?

but on to more important things. watch.




...one of the best cinematic moments ever. just fantastic.

"are you a bug bill murray?"
(that's why the gza is known as the genius).

you know me, i love my coffee. i'm pretty sure i drink more than nessasary.
hell, i rode 60 miles on sunday, forgot my h2o bottle. we stop twice at the cafe and -
both times i bought an espresso, and didn't think about getting any water.

that's just one example.
i'd say, on average, i stop at 4 coffeeshops a day. sometimes more. rarely less.
working at a cafe doesn't help either. i think i had 6 various coffee drink on the clock yesterday.
plus a few at home before i got there...

but, i have a strict rule about coffee quality. here it is;

"don't drink shit coffee".

follow the rule. it will save you a lot of heartaches.

as much as i love it, there is no way i will knowingly drink shitty coffee.
i would rather go without, than drink a cup from the gas station... ugh.

i have been in damn near every cafe and coffeeshop in minneapolis, (and several other cities, but that's for a later article), and my expertise is unrivaled. (except by katrina, actually).

i am going to now present you with the 5 best coffee spots in minneapolis.
use this information carefully.

tops. (in no order);

• spyhouse/bad waitress (mcad area) - same owner. great coffee, and great espresso. and employees that know what they are doing. super! oh, and check out the iced coffee in the summertime. damn.
  
• 2nd moon (seward) - just stellar. get a mocha from 2nd moon, and you will never want one from anywhere else ever again. fresh chocolate shavings right on top? hell yeah. their dip coffee ain't bad either.
  
• moose & sadies (downtown) - why do you think i work there? peter has owned the place since 1991, and definately knows his coffee beans. coffee is great, and the espresso is perfect.
  
• hard times (westbank) - their french pressed coffee should be illegal. it's like a mule kicking you in the head. think, dark, and beautiful - hardtimes, best coffee in the city. honestly, i'm sure their espresso is fine too, but i don't know. i just absolutely have to get the regular coffee when i go there.
  
• barbette (uptown) - cafe wyrd used to be the best place to hangout, and drink some fantastic coffee. it was the place to go. then they remodeled and re-branded, and became barbette. more a resturant, less a cafe. they act like you have to sit and get a menu, etc... but it's not true, you can still walk right up to the bar and get a coffee drink that will knock your socks off. ask andrew to make you a latte, and experience nirvana.
  

and it wouldn't be "the (dis)pencer" if i didn't tell you the worst... would it?

(this is the worst of the precieved "good coffee". i am not bothering to rate/rank superamerica's "coffee").

easily, hands-down, clear-cut winner: dunn bros!

if you want to pay $5 for some uber-bitter, foul-smelling, pewtred swill... enjoy any one of the zillions of dunn bros cafes that are popping up everywhere. (like a herpes outbreak).
not only is the coffee foul, but they do it to themselves! they have some kid thats work there all of 3 weeks roast the beans in house, which pretty much guarantees that the end product is going to taste like hell. (it does). and, it gets worse.
because the roaster is right there, every dunn bros has that trademark "burnt cat" smell.
...really ruins my cafe experience.

don't ruin your day. stay away from dunn.
on a clear day, you can smell it from blocks away.