Tuesday, October 28, 2008

168 days to tuesday night worlds

now that i have decided that road races are for suckers, i am focusing on crits, track, cyclocross, and any other sporting, baking, or television events that take less than an hour to complete.
having these clearly defined goals has allowed me to really zero in on some key elements, and really start to work on some limiters.

for instance, here's a hot tip: my all-new crit strategy involves watching this film nightly, just before bed. looking ever so carefully for the stylish red aero booties, as robbie ventura soothes me to sleeeeep.

yep, only one hundred sixty-eight day until we "ramp it up to really hard"

14 comments:

Christopher Smith said...

does this post qualify as "the race before the race"?

Jason said...

nah, dis is already out in hopkins waiting to get called to the line.

(dis)pencer said...

joke all you want.

hurricane hanna knows what i'm talking about.

(this video "just happens" to be playing every time anyone visits the house)

FM Roadie said...

I take it you’re a rider that thinks ahead -an admirable trait. I also noticed you are or were a certified cycling coach – are you still at it?

Trissel said...

see ya at ken woods

FM Roadie said...

This is why blogs irritate me. There is usually no means to post a non-thread related question or email the writer directly. I end up playing the role of K.I.T.H – Gavin popping my head up where it doesn’t belong.

Seriously though if that US Cycling logo isn’t a shingle on your door I don’t know what is. I’m going to chalk the non-response up to the six degrees of separation phenomenon -if you publicly annoy a few elite riders you insult them all.

It’s a shame really because in exchange for your advice and insights on how I might be competitive (with a vagina instead of a penis) in a few of the masters 35+ (cat 3-4) races next season I could have waxed poetic about the Fire’s 2003 conference finals impenetrable defensive wall.

There defensive midfielders were the catalyst to an aggregate 4-0 shut out in the two game series against D.C. United. (If that wall could have scored for them maybe they would have beaten Pat Onstad and rest of the San Jose squad in the championship match.)

(dis)pencer said...

awesome.

thanks for giving me a whole 21 hours to respond! (8 of which i was sleeping through!)

anyway, i "was" a USAC cycling coach-but my license is technically expired right now. that doesn't really make a difference since i typically don't coach anyone outside of my team.

but, i am happy to dole out advice if you need some.

i actually was going to send you an email, but you didn't leave any contact info either. (i even clicked the link to your blogger profile, no dice).

and um, are you refering to me annoying elite riders? or you?
i'm not clear. i've annoyed plenty though. we can compare notes.

and if you are lumping me in with elite riders, then i can retire happy!
shit, with all the money i'll save on bike races i could actually afford mls direct kick and watch all the fire games! sweet.

shoot me an email if you'd like;
gospencergo@gmail.com

or say hi at a race.
or comment here.
or not.
it's cool.

Peter Anderson said...

hanna always wins this race.

no matter how many times I watch it...

fpa

FM Roadie said...

Options are good. I’ll take you up on all three points of contact at some point. I prefer to fly below the radar in terms of publicizing contact info and that makes me the worlds biggest hypocrite as I complain about the road block set up on this blog and most others to keep people from contacting the writer directly.

To clarify - my reference on annoyance was a dig at myself for my incurable foot-n-mouth infection. The end point being you are probably friends with someone I’ve insulted and I’d wish it wouldn’t be held against me. The fact that you offered “I’ve annoyed plenty of people...” credentials is oddly reassuring and dangerous. The danger is wetted to the multiplier effect of combining your own ability (disability?) to annoy with someone else’s. Think mushroom cloud-with less surface wounds and more badly bruised egos.

Final thought before reverting to gmail:
For the record I will not confirm of deny I have penis envy. I all I can say it takes more than 168 days to grow a detachable penis in a Petri dish and part of the impatience you witnessed in my follow up message stemmed from the following realization, “Great. I’ve got to move on to plan C and discover an equality suitable good luck charm whose placebo effect may or may not negate the innate 10% advantage men have over women in athletic competition.”

(dis)pencer said...

"oddly reassuring and dangerous"

that's my middle name!

Skibby said...

fm, cyber cop is also a coach...

Mike Lalla said...

And writes well.

Unknown said...

I AM FUCKING CONFUSED.

We all know that Juan Pablo Angel and the New York Red Bulls are amazing.

FM Roadie said...

Super,
Is your confusion really soccer-related?
It could be, but perhaps it's a symbolic circling of the wagons.

What if Juan represents the sleeping child of a friend
of yours and and the Red Bull squad represents his dog. This close friend of yours
tells the world, "I really love my son and dog!" on his personal blog and
a stranger- actually me- mocks him for being feminine and tells him sardonically
to be more manly or rather act nasty and physical, which isn't manly at all; it's cowardly.

Why would I do that?

That's segway question to the patently obvious conclusion, "girl forget a coach, right now you need
to go see a therapist for anger management." I mean that sinerely.

The impact of anger can be toxic - the reminders were sobering.

Graffiti written on stop sign near my home [hand written arrow pointing to the word 'STOP'"Lady Lucid" followed by a heart symbol
A mushroom cloud image
A pitch perfect playlist