coffee.

ha!

i stole it from bsnyc.
what kind of asshole would wear something like that?

but on to more important things. watch.




...one of the best cinematic moments ever. just fantastic.

"are you a bug bill murray?"
(that's why the gza is known as the genius).

you know me, i love my coffee. i'm pretty sure i drink more than nessasary.
hell, i rode 60 miles on sunday, forgot my h2o bottle. we stop twice at the cafe and -
both times i bought an espresso, and didn't think about getting any water.

that's just one example.
i'd say, on average, i stop at 4 coffeeshops a day. sometimes more. rarely less.
working at a cafe doesn't help either. i think i had 6 various coffee drink on the clock yesterday.
plus a few at home before i got there...

but, i have a strict rule about coffee quality. here it is;

"don't drink shit coffee".

follow the rule. it will save you a lot of heartaches.

as much as i love it, there is no way i will knowingly drink shitty coffee.
i would rather go without, than drink a cup from the gas station... ugh.

i have been in damn near every cafe and coffeeshop in minneapolis, (and several other cities, but that's for a later article), and my expertise is unrivaled. (except by katrina, actually).

i am going to now present you with the 5 best coffee spots in minneapolis.
use this information carefully.

tops. (in no order);

• spyhouse/bad waitress (mcad area) - same owner. great coffee, and great espresso. and employees that know what they are doing. super! oh, and check out the iced coffee in the summertime. damn.
  
• 2nd moon (seward) - just stellar. get a mocha from 2nd moon, and you will never want one from anywhere else ever again. fresh chocolate shavings right on top? hell yeah. their dip coffee ain't bad either.
  
• moose & sadies (downtown) - why do you think i work there? peter has owned the place since 1991, and definately knows his coffee beans. coffee is great, and the espresso is perfect.
  
• hard times (westbank) - their french pressed coffee should be illegal. it's like a mule kicking you in the head. think, dark, and beautiful - hardtimes, best coffee in the city. honestly, i'm sure their espresso is fine too, but i don't know. i just absolutely have to get the regular coffee when i go there.
  
• barbette (uptown) - cafe wyrd used to be the best place to hangout, and drink some fantastic coffee. it was the place to go. then they remodeled and re-branded, and became barbette. more a resturant, less a cafe. they act like you have to sit and get a menu, etc... but it's not true, you can still walk right up to the bar and get a coffee drink that will knock your socks off. ask andrew to make you a latte, and experience nirvana.
  

and it wouldn't be "the (dis)pencer" if i didn't tell you the worst... would it?

(this is the worst of the precieved "good coffee". i am not bothering to rate/rank superamerica's "coffee").

easily, hands-down, clear-cut winner: dunn bros!

if you want to pay $5 for some uber-bitter, foul-smelling, pewtred swill... enjoy any one of the zillions of dunn bros cafes that are popping up everywhere. (like a herpes outbreak).
not only is the coffee foul, but they do it to themselves! they have some kid thats work there all of 3 weeks roast the beans in house, which pretty much guarantees that the end product is going to taste like hell. (it does). and, it gets worse.
because the roaster is right there, every dunn bros has that trademark "burnt cat" smell.
...really ruins my cafe experience.

don't ruin your day. stay away from dunn.
on a clear day, you can smell it from blocks away.

pander to the unwashed masses.

someone claims my posts are getting hard to follow... (like my wheel, chump).

it's probably just his old age.

generally, i like to think they are readable. although, i do think the long, tirade-ridden posts might have been tough to filter through, (what with so much amazing and important information to digest).
...but most likely the problem lies with the reader.

oh well. it ain't changing.
be prepared to deal with whatever crap i fling at you.

speaking of crap; stuporbowl is this saturday. it's bound to be stinky and fun.
last year after 3 hours on the bike in the -35 degree wind chill, the littleguy outfoxed me in the closing miles to take the victory. that will not happen again.

amazingly, i wasn't really too cold during the race. i think i layered to perfection.

since frye and jimmer were recently bragging about riding in the 4 - 5 degree weather, i thought i'd share last years story about the race, and cold weather clothing.

enjoy.

in training news, lgr is starting to pile on the spring miles, while super rookie is piling on something totally different;



it's bound to be a hilarious season.

timmy says he's gonna win races this year. but, he says alot of things, really.

i will say this: if he can drag his ben and jerry's filled ass around the course and stay in the pack...
i will give him the worlds best leadout.

(it's what i do).

next up, more training tips, and (dis)pencer's annual goals. oh boy!

i will leave u with this tidbit about the north american handbuilt bike show.
...just for the little guy.

"The NAHBS was pretty lame. It was about 20-30 builders all showing off basically the same bike and with the same high level of craftsmanship. Lots of lugs, steel tubes and hippies."
from 53x11

later, haters.

project runway. 2008 kits.

the good, the bad, and the urthel; local team kits unveiled!

professional review of proposed kits, and sage advice for those whose designs remain as-of-yet unseen!

onward to the goal of the best looking peloton in the country!
(cuz what else do we have, really).

welcome to (dis)ject(ed) runway!

(fyi; this is bound to start strong, and degenerate quickly into petty name calling, and pointless violence... like any good reality show!)


cat sex recently sprinkled the internets with a prototype 2008 jersey. let's review.



review: the prospective jersey is a far cry from last years theme of, "non-design as design". getting away from the black colored jersey opens the door for the rest of us to notice and make fun of the fact that they are wearing pearl izumi shorts, and the "no bibs on this team" rule in their team charter.
secondly, and on a more personal note, i think there is quite enough of this color in the peloton already. thank you very much.

advice: cat six... cat 6... 6 cats... sick cats... um... i got nothin'.
maybe some paw prints walking around would be cute?

crossniacs:



review: what the hell is a crossniac? if you go by the logo, it looks like a crossniac is a duck stealing a 10 speed bicycle...
but, that is what gives this kit it's flava.
it's hot in the hood. for reals.

advice: this kit is pretty classy. although, in "real life", (aka; a bike race), the gold is very bronze, or brown. next year demand gold. gold is rad.
don't let champion-sys ruin your stylin' kit...
we know they can, have you seen some of the other local kits they've done recently?

birchwood: 2008 kit still top secret.



review: n/a.

advice: don't be afraid. go back to pink.

flanders: '08 yet to be revealed.. but have you been in that shop? the kit hasn't changed in 35 years.




review: see? creepy.
advice: uh. none, i guess. ...now quit staring at me.

auc: uh... i'm not sure if they get new kits, or just use the first run still... i'll get back to you.

gopher wheelmen: i can't find a good photo of this kit... oh wait, here's one.



about this time of year, we wait patiently for the first gopher wheelmen to poke their heads out for the first training rides of the season... if they see their shadows though, it means 6 more seasons of rabobank kits.

advice: go purple, or go orange. but for the love of all things holy, don't do both.

synergy: kit unknown.



review: could it be the kit above? i hope so.

advice: call fpa, and tell him to drink 4 red bulls, put on minor threat album, and get rad with your kit.
rad.
like this;

or, this;


(it's like screaming at a wall... don't you fucking get it?)


hollywood/silver cycling: not yet seen. doubtful that it's changed. ...although, it is was possible to be sexy in one...



review: seem to be going the flanders route... to paraphrase; "same kit, different year".

advice: you should have grabbed the color silver for your kits while ya had the chance... lgr owns that shit now. booya.

not local, but;
inferno (formerly a+f): 2008 team kit unleashed onto an unsuspecting world.



review: first to last. a shame. a damn shame. last years kit was one of the best ever.
if i was lucky (read: good) enough to race for a pro/semi-pro team with a kit like this, my first goal would be to win a national championship so i could wear a different kit.

advice: n/a. this kit is final, for better or worse.

lsc: will they look like this years csc kits? let us hope so!
here are some lsc styles from years past...




review: the original lsc jeresy has a retro appeal, a classy look, and a big duck.
the 1998 version is hideously terrible, gaudy, and really just down right trashy.

advice: go back to 1998!!!!!

midwest womens elite amateur womens cycling team and club:

[no photo]

review: this is a new, first-year team. what will they bring to the table? hopefully something with some verve.

advice: don't do blue. do anything but blue. oh, and don't do this. (although, it wouldn't be as much of an issue...).
tell you what, call fpa, tell him to drink 4 cups of green tea, put on a portishead album, and get rad.
...and to use greens. there is no green at all in the womens peloton.

but whatever you do, make it look tough. cuz you are gonna be a team to reckon with. no flowers or crap like that, ok?

best womens team kit ever?
this one.



tough as nails.

urthel:



review:thank god thats over. next!

lgr:
this just in! all-new for 2008!



we call it, "the astana".
you'll call it, "perfection".

speedstix:
hanz broke out the jersey at coldsprints #2, it was nice of them to let his kids play with photoshop and design the kit.

it takes alot of faith.

crosby also wore the new threads in action in canuckia.

and, it looks like the team leader's custom skinsuit has just arrived!



advice: hire a pro.

(dis)approval.

so.

here we are.

the 1st annual 2008 season is just ahead, and we are crossing our fingers and hoping for the best.

skibby is the new president of the mcf, and i think i may be the president of gp.
we may be ready to make some small moves towards thinking about forward progress.

since everyone loves meetings, (and judging from the attendance numbers 2008 in no different), and meetings are obviously the only place where get things done... i think the mcf is ready to take it to the next level in '08.
luck for us there are still a few more meetings to get 'er done.

so, in order to move forward, we must learn from our errors.
i think it was abe lincoln that said that. or jfk.

and in order to learn from our errors, we must figure out what those errors are.

so i present, the (dis)approvals.
(dis)pencer.blogspot's least favorite things about the 2007 cycling season.

most (dis)approved criterium;
well, for 2007, i'd say it would be a toss up between the excel crit, and hutchinson. neither of the crits happened, and took up valuable space on the calendar. but, maybe it's a moot point since i doubt anyone out there was willing to promote another event. lsc, hollywood, and even lgr promoted several events and likely could not host another one... and god help us all if gp or birchwood with their 150+ memberships were going to do any race promotion...
as for races that happened, the crits were actually pretty well done.
i'll award the (dis)y to hutch, for cancelling in '07, and making us race in a parking lot in '06.

most (dis)approved time trial;
i've never raced a blackdog series event, but i have raced on blackdog road.
the event is the charity tt. i'm all for a good cause, so i continue to attend... but race promoters, auc, make it a tough as possible to want to come back.
kudos for their determination!
lack of computers, and organized/efficient registration make this event notorious for it's long, snaking, single-file line through the parking lot. the race itself on blackdog road seems to be run well enough, but then how hard is a tt to run, really?
though improved from 2006, the hours (literally) between finishing the race and results being posted make this a two-part event; the long, drawn-out suffering of the tt effort, and the long, drawn-out suffering of waiting for the results.

most (dis)approved road race;
i used to think the seemingly haphazard, tossed-together-at-the-last-possible-moment, style of durand was the most ridiculously organized race.

but, i had never done ken woods before.

now, neither of those races get the nod because of the courses, those are just fine. more or less.
we are talking about the registration lines, and associated crap like that. i'm not big on the startline set-up at ken woods either, open roads and masses of bikers don't usually mix.
but i guess it worked out ok.

most (dis)approved cyclocross race;
this is a doozy. another very, very, close call.
lake rebecca is always a shoe-in for long reg lines, short holeshots, and boring courses.
and, ham lake; who's reg was short, sweet, and computerized... but who's holeshot was shorter, (almost to the point of pointlessness), and who's course was equally as unchange-able for future races. i like courses that can be tweeked from year to year.
but, based on the reg nightmare at lake rebecca, they will get this years (dis)y for cx!

most (dis)approved track race;
360? madison? blackjack? pursuit?
so many choices...
i'm going to go with... beeeeeeeeep!

most (dis)approved "of the year" competition;
the horror.
roy, ttoy, troy, cry... wtf-oy. where to start? each system is flawed. but you know me, i think the whole system is flawed. (remember, every nation has been destroyed).

cry points should go deeper, top 8 is tough in most fields. but i don't blame cry tabulators for one second. can you imagine the extra work?! no thank you.

ttoy, well aside from needing a graphing calculator to decipher the results, and how they're tabulated... it's fine. i wish it was just a points scale though. but i'm dumb.

troy, a good effort for a first year with a all-inclusive format. (years past did not include lower cats). obviously weighted too heavy for cat 3's, as the final results show.

and, roy. oh roy. you win the (dis)y.
i love the idea, but i don't know if it'll ever really make sense. i hope this years cats will help. and maybe some of the promoters that depend on you for numbers, will throw you a bone by using laptops, etc., to make calculating easier.

most (dis)approved election;
mcf election happened recently. while we approve of the change in presidency... there was absolutely no attack ads. boo.
the mcf election as a whole gets the (dis)y. plus no write-in votes for me?? wtf.

most (dis)approved blog;
smithersmlps.com.
the rule was broken. i had a bunch of the old posts bookmarked for later reference.
where are they? gone.
total bs.

most (dis)approved ending of a blog;
skibbys. because it started again.

most (dis)approved mn cycling website;
as the local association for usa cycling, the mcf has a website at mcf.net.
what a pile.
hard to look at. hard to navigate. ugly. and with no self-hosted results database, history, photos, or other useful information, i think the mcf.net site needs a major overhaul, or a minimization. you know, a nice readable calendar, a message board and a mission statement.
thats it. get rid of the half-assed attempts at anything else.
other site do a better job.
maybe a faq on where to find beginner info, etc., online... rather than trying to do it yourselves.

most (dis)approved trait of the mcf;
giving dates back to clubs that fucked it up the year before.
goddamn it, stop doing that.

most (dis)approved bike racing team;
the big one.
that doesn't promote races. (well, barely).
which one is it?
white? blue?
fuck it. both.
two (dis)y's for this one.

most (dis)approved off-season transfer;
well, this was going to be ian s., going back to grandstay... but then i saw the new inferno kits.
yowza.
i'd have left in a hurry too. (becasue i care alot what my kit looks like).

so, in lieu of that, i'll say the (dis)y goes to...
all the women that went over to paula plants new team!
what the hell?
what about lgr?? trust us, you'll get used to tim, (or learn to tune him out).

most (dis)approved use of mcf money;
this is a softball.
the (dis)y for worst use of mcf money goes to; non-use of mcf money!
$20k in the bank, and i'm standing in line in the rain to register?!

most (dis)approved team kit (local);
urthel? birchwood polka-dots?
no...
sorry pete, but it's the gs cheesareeno kit.
not cuz it's a bad kit, but simply because there is just too much damn blue in the peloton

hmmm... is that it.

who knows. check back later.
but, that's it for now.

so, let's use this to move forward for a great '08!

alright positivity!
already.

we freaked out.

i don't normally post about stuff that doesn't somehow relate to cycling, or post random regurgitated news but, today is different.
if you haven't seen it, 3 local minneapolis comedians produced version of the whopper freakout ads.

i know you've seen the burger king ads, you know the ones with the sad sad people who care way too much about a crappy burger from a crappy "restaurant". [ok, maybe some eat it for the convenience, (like joe), but the vast majority are unhealthy crap lovers, (like tim)].

anyway, here is the video, pretty much genius.
at least someone in minneapolis still has something funny to say.

can you relate?

this is about football, but could easily be about anything.

live life like it's worth it.



i'm totally ripping this off for my lgr spring training camp speech.

the workshop.

something's new in the workshop.

can you find it?

(hint: it's not the snoop dogg action figure).

timmer will eat this shit up.

nissan classic race program , ireland 1988.

i didn't even buy it on ebay.
no, my mom and uncle were in ireland at the time, and watched a few different parts of the race.

rad.

anyone remember these guys?



ok... sure you do.
but, what about these guys?



i have the race on vhs too. (remember vhs? timmer does).
i like to live vicariously through sean kelly.
ok. roche too.

thanks to mom, who for some reason saved this program for almost 20 years, and then gave it to me.

thanks to my uncle for helping make me think cycling was cool early on in life... even if i didn't bother racing until i was 26.

the fog of work. (1st in a series).

perhaps you have heard of the fog of work? it was tuffy's blog.
i'm sure the title is some kind of play on words on a classy/poignant phrase or old-timey jive-lingo.
who knows? and, who cares, really?

the facts are simple:

it was a relatively decent blog that managed to cover a small array of overly-researched topics fairly thoroughly, and;

tuffy killed it.

but before he did, it was almost to the point of interesting, with lots of actually semi-useful tips, and a bunch of crap about "other" "sports", like baseball. (yawn).

take this sage advice from tuffy, for example:

Words I've been living by:

1) "All good things must come to an end. Thankfully, so to must the bad things."

2) "Something good will come from this. It always does."

3) "A poor man is better than a liar."

i don't know if he's still living by these words, but he should be.

and where did he get this stuff?



(this was a caption contest. can anyone think of some more captions for it?)

of course, it wasn't all top-notch reporting...
there were a few instances of fluff during the course of the blogs run. but given the minimal staffing at thefogofwork.blogspot.com, and the well-documented fact that the editor spent 90% of his time triple-checking comma and hyphen placement, the occasional fluff piece could be over-looked.

cycling was not the only topic, but was by far the favorite with regular readers, who consider cycling vastly more interesting and entertaining than say, tuffy's fantasy college basketball lame-fest, or some coming-of-age story about mauer's sideburns.

and ultimately, it was a cycling debate that became the final nail in 'the fogs' coffin.
in the end, tuffy decided the logical thing to do was to yank the handlebars hard to port, and veer wildly out of the pack, off of the smooth-paved road of free press, and into the ditch of non-bloggery, high school social studies, and contempt.



it was a soft suicide.

rip, the fog of work.


part 1 in a series pertaining to minneapolis blog homicides.

memories.

what a night.

lgr was on fire. karla was in town, and rocking.

hagerty took the silver medal in the state championship keirin.

i think we had 10 riders out that night, in all of the fields.

i don't know why people think we are a "track team"... we are just an "awesome team".

super rookie. the gold standard.

i live by only a few principles. i try to stick to them.

sometimes you have to bend them to meet people halfway, but mainly i stick to them.

i can be pretty stubborn.

one thing i may have to add as a guiding principle is;

"whatever super rookie is saying, as a rule of thumb, do the opposite.
if he is still talking about it more than 2 days later, begin actually listening, sort of.
more than a week, and he might be onto something."

today's forcast; a firestorm.

look at all of us talkity-talk talking about rock racing.
the gossip is out of control.

can you imagine the emails, texts, and myspace messages flying around!

omg, tyler got signed. brb!

fyi, my bff cipo is racing fr rr!

i <3 landis!

i h8 landis!

idk about landis.

they said ball. lol.

rr is kewl.

rr sux.

blah, blah, blah.

so, here's the deal. so, rock f'ing racing is the hot topic in the cycling world right now.

the european countries held their national championships for cx last weekend.
i haven't heard a peep about it on velonews.
all the news that's fit to print is apparently about rock racing.

sure, rock racing has made some news-worthy power moves, and signed some big riders.
big, tainted riders.

riders like, "doped up jerk a", and "doped up jerk b".

and no one likes them.

ok. sure. i don't really think dopers should get a second chance, at all.
but, i don't make the rules. there are tons of busted dopers racing today.
like, doped up jerks c, d, e, and f. but they are either small fish names, or likeable guys. so it's ok.

i would understand if the outrage was against doping... but it seems like it is about rock racing and those particular dopers.
it is disappointing to me. pretty much every pro team you can think of has at least one doped up jerk on it.

so what's new? why the uproar? why the lop-sided hate?

need examples? here's some sound bytes;

from the velonews mailbag:

At a time when pro cycling is amidst the darkest days of doping, it seems like nothing more than a cheap publicity stunt on the part of Ball to hire riders with such checkered pasts. The only good it serves is to add contrast to the great things being done by Vaughters and his Slipstream crew to keep cycling headed towards a clean future

ok. but, doesn't slipstream employ david millar? he did a 2 year ban for doping with epo at the world championship time trial. got stripped of his titles. and he did his time, and is now racing.
other than the fact that he denied any wrongdoing for part of the time before fessing up, what's the difference? tyler never fessed up. so what.
he's guilty, and so is millar. we all know that.

let's do another from velonews;

Frankie Andreu should be seen as a great barometer of the situation in cycling.

He is a great rider, who has paid his dues in all the major and minor races. He has finished nine Tours de France, an impressive record.

He has seen it all in cycling. For him to leave a team, you gotta know something is not right.

I am not saying any of the Rock Racing guys (currently) dope, but the mentality that might find them using new improved methods is not inconceivable in the future, if the win-or-be-fired mentality sticks.
And to not consult the guy behind the wheel, who has seen it all, before hiring riders (some of which he has ridden with or against!) is insane.

I hope Frankie finds a solid team. Let's hope it's a team that is about winning with cycling talent, management, and commitment.
And if fashion is factor, throw Frankie in that argyle, which a lot of us who pay attention are starting to really embrace. He would fit in well.

uh. wtf?

let us not forget that frankie admitted to doping along with several other riders to help lance win the tour de france. again, i must be missing the point. he "would fit in well" with slipstream why? he was a doper.

just like tyler. just like oscar sevilla. just like david millar.

why no doping uproar when frankie joined rock racing a year ago? or when he was running toyota-united?

because right now it's the popular thing to villify rock racing? that's dumb.

i really fail to see the difference between them and say, discovery.
disco had half their team in the puerto documents... and the other half had moved on and gotten busted on other teams, (landis, hamilton, haras, etc.).

i guess disco won the tour 8 times in a row. but, hey. that's all mr. ball wants to do. what's the diff?

so, what is rock racing doing to the cycling scene? what's their effect? let's examine.

• hiring ex/current dopers.
• getting a shit-ton of press.
• funding the las vegas crits.
• funding the tour of california.

seems like they do pretty much the the same (hiring dopers), or more (funding events) than most teams.

now, let me re-itterate; i don't like dopers.

i don't think you should get a second chance, because if you didn't dope you weren't good enough to deserve a first chance. if you needed to risk it and were busted, well, thanks for playing. good luck with your next endeavor.
but, as i said, i don't get to make the rules, and doped up jerks are hired all the time.

it's just sad the amount of backlash, that's my point.
i'm not trying to tear down these guys i've mentioned above, i'm just saying, why is everyone so concerned about leogrande's tests? does his kit make him any more guilty than any of these other guys?

over at timmercentral you can read the praise hed is getting for pulling sponsorship of rock racing.
that's all fine and good, i guess. it's steve's business not mine.

again, i don't want to rip on hed, or their products, because they are certainly not the only ones distancing themselves from rr, but i just think the anti-rock bandwagon is lame.
people need to just accept the fact that in pro sports there are gonna be cheaters, or pull all your sponsorships.
in 2007, hed supported disco, colavita, and kelly benefits. there are rumors of doping everywhere.

i wanna know what makes rock racing so special.

michael ball gets his share of flack too. and he might deserve it, but read a few of his quotes;

on the alleged 'win-or-get-fired' comment - "You can come up with anything you want, but I never said win or you're fired. Everyone is still on the team. Not everybody wins, but I want wins, without a doubt. I want my guys to go out there, every single race, to win. Not to train, but to win."

on his management style - "Some people don't like my style. Here is what I have to say about that: Be as successful as me, and then tell me you don't like my style. Everyone that is as successful or more successful than myself appreciates what I'm doing here. This is not just about bicycling, or racing, this is about building something and bringing it to cycling."

on frankie andreau leaving rock racing - "This is new to me," Ball said. "He's been living (cycling) his whole life. We didn't mesh in the sense that I don't know what a director sportif's traditional role is. I know what I need to do in order to push my team and promote my brand. If there was miscommunication and the ball was dropped in terms of what his role was in the team, I'm sorry for that, frankly. But at end of day he's a good guy, and I have nothing negative to say about Frankie."

on the controversial hirings - "I'm into giving people a shot. It's sort of my philosophy in life, give people a chance. Where I come from, I didn't get a whole lot of chances. I had to fight, tooth and nail. I can relate."

i don't know if rock racing is good for cycling.

but, i will tell you this; they are not bad for cycling. i bet you dimes to dollars every guy that rock racing signed would still have a job somewhere in the pro peloton for 2008 if rock had not signed them. that's a fact. (except maybe cipo).

ttfn.

the violins are playing your tune...

so it begins.

i believed tyler.

i believed floyd.

how long before "i believe roger dot com" pops up?



...or has it? i didn't bother checking.

the tyler and floyd sites seem to be gone though. hmmm.... maybe i don't have to believe them anymore.

(dis)entertainment weekly.

hi, and welcome to the show for the week of january 5th.
as usual we have the scoop on all the drama, and big happenings.

in this weeks episode we are going in depth into the brittany mental hospital saga.
we'll also be comparing a washed up josh hartnett's visit to the birchwood cafe last year sometime,
to matt dillon and his exciting visit to lgr sponsor, moose and sadie's cafe.

we will also be reviewing the rivies handed out earlier this week by on the rivet, and tearing frye a new one over some of the winners.

let begin with the rivies; and field reporter (dis), on the red carpet.

here are (dis)entertainment weeklys thoughts on the winners;

Best Criterium Course to Northfield.
while northfield has a great atmosphere and all, i have to disagree that it is the best crit course, that of course would go to the campus crit presented by lgr. frye shouldn't care to much with this change, as his finishing place was second in both races. A runner-up, (aka: "a frye"), would be the capitol crit course.

Best Criterium: Tour of Granite Country / St. Cloud Criterium
i did not attend this race in 2007, but if 2006 was any indicator i would have to agree with this choice. never have i seen so many persons and bicycles doing cartwheels down this street than i saw on this technical course. very exciting white-knuckle racing.

Best Road Race Course: State Road Race Course
again, i didn't attend this one, but tuffy won it in glorious style, and i only heard good things, so i'll give it the thumbs up.

Best Road Race: State Road Race
whatever. it was probably oxbow.

Best Time Trial Course: Hamel TT
Best Time Trial: Hamel TT
aside from slyly admitting to "time trialing", frye further hurts his fragile character by not choosing henderson or the state tt for best tt. states is always exciting, and henderson with the 2 person team option was rad. i would call hamel the best course, it was just stellar.
good job bellas!

Best Road Event: Tour of Granite Country
our on-the-scene beat reporters at the duluth "stage race", claim to have seen catherine zeta jones at the local duluth pizza luce, following a shopping spree with a unidentified male companion. rumors that it was tone were quickly proved to be false.

Best Road Promoter: Loon State Cyclists (Delaney & Skibby)
going with the safe choice of experience over the breakout success of brand new promoters at lgr, the rivies further prove that they are unable to move forward, and truly represent the stars of local cycling, instead protecting an "old guard" of power players, like prez skibby, robert dinero, brando, and delaney.

Best Cyclocross Course: Boom Island CX
eh. i heard more complaining about the "pyramid of pain" than anything else this year.
maybe it was too epic? the (dis)entertainment weekly nod goes to powderhorn, and their creative and revamped course.

Best Cyclocross Race: Grumpy's Velo CX
obviously. other promoters should be embarrassed.

Best Track Race: 360 Sprint at Radius 3
sure, if your into terrifying. ...and who isn't? good call.

Best Race Announcer: Jay Tegeder, State Criterium Championship
no. jay tegeder should leave the building.

Best Tan: Carlton Mitchell, Silver Cycling
is that model boy? someone on silver has the 'look'. could easily be modelling pearl izumi bibshorts for the world cycling productions' catalog.
...if he wanted to be paid in poorly edited videos, that is.

Most Obsessed with Cycling: Jimmer
if we are talking riding, sure. if it's just cycling in general, this may have to go to super rookie...

Worst Lapse in Judgement: Jimmer, aka Choo Choo
you don't hang out with tim hayes much, do you?
well, it's probably a good thing.

Ugliest Team Kit: Tie - Abercrombie & Fitch and Grumpy's LGR
jealously rears it's ugly head. as someone who claims that team kits had no affect on his choice of teams, frye is quick to take shots at the two best kits in the peloton.
it is sad to see his integrity go right out the window, when that god awful urthel kit was sitting right there the whole time.

Best Race Kit: Red Lantern at the Red Barn CX
hard to argue that.

Worst Weather for a Race: Charity TT (time trialing in a hurricane!)
again with the tt references. i think frye has a secret desire to get caught in a sperm helmet... like kids, needy for attention, that do bad shit just to get caught.
someone give frye a hug.

Best Race Schwag: Bike Club TT Challenge
By far. how they do it, i may never know.

Best Trophies: Silver Cycling / State CX Championship
i don't know whether to make a pot joke, or a bowl joke.
either way, hollywood had very appropriate trophies.

Best Novelty Event: Coldsprints
novelty? this shit is life and death, man.

Best Local Cycling Website: bikethrow.com
i guess. if you don't count this one maybe.

Best New Blog: What else - On the Rivet
best joke - see above.

Best Blog to Pull the Plug: smithersmpls.com
amen. no more water heater drama!

and the most coveted award...
My Favorite Local Blog: this one.

the check is in the mail.

that's all the time i have for today, if you really wanted a brittney update, go here.

music.

we all love it.

but, i like good music, and you like crap.

that's the main difference.

check the music player in the side bar, it's a random mixtape of amazing.

you'll eat it up.

i'm going to make a few more that are more genre specific... soul and r 'n b is on deck.

then the metal.